NASA is merging with the Air Force

I keep getting asked about the NASA merger with the Air Force. It just doesn't stop. I'm tired of explaining it, and it's pissing me off having to repeat myself when I keep getting asked the same questions by the same people saying:

"Oh, but the news says..."

"But it's practically a done deal once Obama gets in office..."

Etc Etc. Don't believe everything you see on TV, ESPECIALLY if it's the "news." With this in mind, I now have a blanket response. Hide your children in 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1..

Lets clarify a couple of things (again, this time in technicolor):

Rockets:
Air Force Space Command HAS NO ROCKETS in that class. EELVs are NOT military rockets. Not, Not, Not, Not, Never have been, Never will be, military rockets. Development was subsidized with air force money, but they are ****COMMERCIAL**** vehicles. Anybody can buy them. I could walk in to ULA and buy one myself if I had the money, and shoot my sperm into space, fling my feces at Mars, or do whatever the hell I wanted with it. Nasa already buys these vehicles. There IS NO AIR FORCE FLEET OF ROCKETS. They buy them, use them, they’re gone. It’s like KY jelly. You don’t keep a fleet of KY laying around. You only buy it when you need it and you sure as hell don’t make it yourself (I hope).

Merger:
There is no merger. Never has been, never will be. Just because you buy the same car as your friend does not mean you’re getting married in Massachusetts and making out under the five color rainbow. Just because you buy your beer at the same store as the Air Force guy down the road doesn’t mean your joining the Air Force and beating each other with soap-in-a-sock. This idea is NONSENSE that was thought up by some complete retard at Bloomberg news who had no idea what he was talking about. Being an extremely juicy pile of complete bullshit, it was quickly picked up by Fox News and a variety of overseas outlets known for publishing absolutely juicy complete bullshit, like The Register and Sky News.